What is mindfulness? Jon Kabat Zinn creator of the structured 8 week course "Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction" defines mindfulness as "paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment." Meditation can be thought of as exercise for the mind. 

I had the pleasure of going to see Jon Kabat Zinn PhD and Elissa Epel PhD speak last year about mindfulness. I've studied and practiced mindfulness for years and have read Jon Kabat Zinn's books and am looking forward to reading "The Telomere Effect" by Elizabeth Blackburn and Elissa Epel.

​Did you know: 

• Mindfulness slows biological aging. This is why some 60 year olds look like 40 year olds and vice versa. (Eppel)
• Mindfulness has been demonstrated to reduce anxiety depression, and chronic pain. (Kabat Zinn)
• Acceptance is a critical component of the effects of meditation (Carnegie Mellon University) 
• Yoga is the physical expression of mindfulness. (Jon Kabat Zinn)
• If you can't take a class, check out an app to get started in practicing mindfulness: Headspace, Calm, The Mindfulness App. 

Recommended Reading: 

• Jon Kabat Zinn has written many books. Some of my favorites include:
• "Full Catastrophe Living"
• "Wherever You Go, There You Are"
•  "Mindfulness for Beginners"
• "The Mindful Way through Depression" 
• "Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series 3 (CD of mindfulness exercises)

One of my favorite counseling topics with couples is Dr. John Gottman's 5 magic hours. Gottman's model is research based. He is a psychologist and leading US relationship expert who has conducted studies of thousands of couples at his “Love Lab” at The Gottman Institute for over 30 years. One of the ‘bibles’ for couples is "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work". One of the 'bibles' for marriage therapists is "The Marriage Clinic". His research has found that there are five magic hours that will improve and strengthen your marriage.  

Partings—when you part in the morning make sure you’ve learned about one thing happening in your partner’s day. Estimated time: 2 minutes per day x 5 working days, totals 10 minutes per week
Reunions— Spend 20 minutes at the end of each workday to reconnect and talk about your day. Such a conversation with reduce your stress at the end of the day. Estimated time: 20 minutes per day x 5 working days, totals 1 hour, 40 minutes per week
Admiration and Appreciation—Find some way every day to communicate genuine affection and appreciation toward your partner. Estimated time: 5 minutes per day x 7 days, totals 35 minutes per week
Affection—Kiss, hold, grab and touch each other while you’re together – be playful with each other.  Make sure to kiss each other before going to sleep. A kiss can be a way to let go of any minor irritations that may have built up over the day. Estimated time: 5 minutes per day x 7 days, totals 35 minutes per week
Weekly Date—Take at least two hours every week to stay connected in a low-pressure way.  Use the time to talk to get to know each other even more, update each other about important issues, go out on a date, and enjoy being together. You can also use the time to work through any arguments or issues that may have come up. Estimated time: 2 hours per week

Think about this: 

• Which of these five are you already doing well?
  
• Which of these five do you need to focus on and be mindful about?
  
• What would be some fun things to do with your mate? 
• What do you want more of from your mate, and your relationship?

​#marriagetherapy

Calming a newborn is a daunting task for new and experienced parents. With our first, we did our best. We used techniques like swaddling, baby wearing, and white noise and it was effective. With our second, it was a lot easier. Due to experience in part and also due to the "Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD. I found it so useful that I became a Certified Happiest Baby Educator. The tips and tricks imparted by Dr. Karp in his book and DVD are invaluable. If you are a friend, chances are you received a Happiest Baby DVD at your baby shower from me. #happiestbaby #parenting
​https://www.happiestbaby.com/

I value continuing education. I enjoy learning from the continuing education courses that I attend and the ones that I teach. I have been counseling postpartum and pregnant women and their families for years. I flew to Phoenix to get advanced training and certification in this area. Perinatal refers to the pregnancy period and the postpartum period (the year after birth). The problem is more common than most people realize. Perinatal anxiety occurs in 16% of women. Perinatal depression occurs in 25% of women.

• Did you know that the postpartum period is the entire first year after birth?
  
• Did you know that it can start during pregnancy or it can start postpartum and it can continue well beyond the first year? 
  
• Did you know dads can be affected too?
  
• Did you know that the problem isn't just depression? It's also anxiety, PTSD, and OCD.
  
• Did you know that the infants development is affected by the mother's mood or anxiety?
  
• Did you know that Perinatal mood disorders is the most common complication of childbirth?
  

​If you or someone you know is seeking help for anxiety or depression during pregnancy or postpartum, it is important to find a qualified mental health professional.  For anyone experiencing anxiety or mood dysfunction during pregnancy or postpartum, please contact me or check out the resources provided by PSI. They offer loads of education and information about perinatal mental health and a warmline to talk to someone who understands, referrals to qualified professionals, and a support call in group for dads.  #postpartum
​http://www.postpartum.net/

This is one of the most common questions that I get asked from a new client. It is also an article of debate amongst therapy professionals. Many will have a page on their website dedicated to explaining why they don't accept insurance. I have always accepted insurance for covered services. I am committed to providing affordable services. I have some clients who use insurance and some clients who do not. When I think of how many clients over the years that I would have not met or had the privilege of working with if I did not accept their insurance, it makes me glad that I did and do. My associates do not accept insurance only because my contracts will not allow me to bill for services provided by LMFT Associates. When they have completed their supervisory period (2 years/3,000 hours, post licensure), I hope they will enroll as insurance providers and I encourage them to do so. Other therapists have their reasons for not accepting insurance. As for me, for the past 15 years I have been happy to be in network for most major insurance. 

My first passion is therapy and the therapeutic relationship with my clients. A close second, is my relationship with my colleagues. I look forward to coffee consultations with my local colleagues here in Texas and phone consults with my colleagues back in California. I enjoy supervising LMFT Associates and teaching introductory level Psychology courses at the local college. I value connection with people and the healing power of that connection. I am trained in several different formal theoretical models, but I keep coming back to Irvin Yalom's sentiment that "It's the relationship that heals"- nothing affects a client more than the "here and now" of the therapy session and that the bond that forms between therapist and client is the most important aspect of healing.